So you know when you start losing weight and people start complimenting you? “You look great, have you lost weight?” It makes you feel good and keeps you motivated, right? Yeah, I feel the complete opposite every day. Each day I gain weight and apparently it shows. My co-workers like to point it out and remind me that I’m bigger than I was yesterday. “Really, Captain Obvious?” I’m pregnant, that’s what happens.
Didn’t your mother ever teach you: If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all? If she didn’t, I am sure you saw Thumper learn it on Bambi. If a freakin’ bunny can learn, so can you!
Furthermore, don’t you think I know I look like an elephant? Doctors say the usual weight gain in the 3rd trimester is 1-2 pounds per week. Mine just might be per day, and I’m ok with that. Get over it, I did.
My first son was 10lbs 10oz, and this one is on track to be the same. So what if I make Trojan babies. You all will be jealous when they are linemen for the The Ohio State University!
Also, is it necessary to question me when I tell you I have five more weeks to go? “Do you think your doctor did the math wrong? No way you still have five more weeks?” Listen, as much as I would love to go earlier, I think my Doctor knows what’s up. She has a Medical Degree, you do not. For the record, my iPhone also tells me my due date is the same. iPhone is all- knowing.
Lastly, yes, I do intend to work up until I have this kid. I would much rather be busy at work than sit at home on my fat a** getting even fatter (it’s January. In Chicago. I can’t go outside as it is 100 below zero). Word to the wise: Just deal with me and ‘X-nay’ the fatty comments. I know where you live.