Being a mom is one of the most rewarding jobs on the planet, but let’s be honest here – this job also comes with burnout, sleep deprivation and zero compensation.
Because my kids are little, most days I feel like I’m drowning. I check the clock what feels like every few hours only to realize a measly ten minutes have passed. When did the days get so long, and yet I still can’t seem to get caught up – the work never ends! I find myself trying to prioritize every little thing. Should I feed my kids or do the ten loads of laundry staring me in the face? Well, I guess I’ll go another day wearing these same yoga pants and a shirt laced with baby puke.
These horrendous working conditions prompted me to daydream about forming a mom union, and here’s why we desperately need one:
We get paid for sh*t – The going rate to be a mom is currently a big fat goose egg. If you added up all the things we do I’m sure we could easily rack in a six-figure salary, plus a few bonuses.
No comp days – Have the flu? Strep throat? Sorry, get you’re butt to work. When you’re a mom, there are no days off. You can’t tell your kid, “Sorry you’re not eating today because mommy is sick.” You have to pick yourself up and take one for the team.
No paid vacations – Taking a vacation with kids can get pretty pricy and even if you do get the chance to go – it’s not really a vacation for you. You’re doing all the same mom-work just in a different location.
We work 24/7 – Middle of the night? You’re on call. Weekends? No sleeping in. Evenings? Yep working those, too. No breaks for you.
No one cares about your CEO title – Just because you’re the CEO of the household doesn’t warrant you special privileges. You still have to wipe butts and snotty noises, and your kids won’t listen to you either.
We have to deal with hazardous materials – I’ve spent the last 5 years cleaning up vomit, feces and God knows what else. I’m pretty sure the hospital should just provide HAZMAT suits when they send you home with your baby.
We get beat up – Especially if you’re a boy mom. Everyday there’s flying toys and wrestling going on in my house. Enter at your own risk.
No recognition – We only get one day a year that is dedicated to us. What’s up with that? I think we should have a mom-hour every day. Who’s with me?
Hold several positions – Moms hold many positions to include: chef, maid, financial advisor, bookkeeper, superhero, monster killer and boo-boo healers.
Where’s Freddy Prinze Jr’s. soccer team friends when you need them? Where’s this village we say it takes to raise a child? All the people in my village are drowning, too. All I’m really asking for is a 15 minute break so I can at least pee alone, send an email without a toddler trying to attack my laptop, eat a meal sitting down and be on-time somewhere just once. I would also suggest throwing in a guiltless shoe fund. That’s not asking for much. Even though we do not get monetary compensation or much recognition for our endless efforts, we do get unconditional love and lots of kisses and hugs – which in the end makes it totally worth it. But it is nice to dream…